I entered the world of chronic resentment when a relationship I trusted ended in deceit. The aftermath left my chest area constricted as if gripped by a strong hand.

Though I definitely wished I wasn’t in that situation, I had no problem with the feeling in my body. Something terrible happened and the feeling of resentment seemed justified.

After almost three years of feeling the tightness in my chest, I suddenly had a different thought. Instead of thinking about how I was wronged, I thought “I’m tired of feeling this way. I don’t want to feel this gripping feeling anymore.”

In that moment the desire to restore my heart was set aflame. 

A few months later I intersected with forgiveness and a few weeks after that, the gripping feeling was gone.

In order to succeed at forgiveness, the desire to restore the heart must be in place. This is why I invite all prospective How to Forgive participants to rate from 1-10 how badly they want to feel different. If they answer 8, 9 or 10, then I recommend taking my course.

You don’t often hear people talk about one’s desire to forgive, but it’s the foundation of the entire forgiveness journey.